"AS IS" BABY

Nathan and I spent our day off for President's Day doing some baby prep.  We decided we would purchase the crib, which would set our wheels in motion for doing a bunch of other baby related things like rearranging our bedroom and cleaning our drawers to make space.  After a little research, we decided we would go with the IKEA crib called Gulliver. Ratings were excellent for safety, construction and very good for ease of use.   Gulliver adjusts to two different heights and can convert to a toddler day bed all for the wonderful price of $99.99.  Can't beat that...or can we?  Well, since moving to New York, we have learned a few IKEA lessons: 

1) Before embarking on your IKEA trip, be sure to check online that the item you are looking for is in stock in your store of choice. We learned this the hard way when we bought our kitchen table and ended up driving from Red Hook, Brooklyn to Elizabeth, New Jersey where they have a warehouse to stock.
2) Make a list so you don't get side tracked.  I am constantly tempeted by plants, vases, napkins and wrapping paper.
3) Make sure your partner in crime has a good attitude and a full stomach.  The IKEA maze can take a lot out of you.  A positive mental attitude makes the entire trip more bareable for everyone.  At least if hunger is a problem there are $1 hot dogs and soft serve ice cream to save the day.

For our Monday trip, we were unable to complete IKEA lesson #1.  Our internet was down, so we were unable to check stock.  We thought we would chance it anyway and headed off the island, through the Battery Tunnel and straight to the Red Hook IKEA.  After a few shortcuts through the IKEA maze we spotted the Gulliver in the children's section.  Bulls eye.  We wrote down the aisle and bin number and headed downstairs to pick it up.  Unfortunately when we got to aisle 24 and bin 17, there were zero Gulliver's left.  Just our luck.  I decided to go talk to customer service to see if they could help.  After a fairly short wait, I approached the desk and explained our situation to the IKEA girl.  It went something like this...

Me: "Hi!  I am interested in your Gulliver crib in white, though it appears you are out of stock in aisle 24, bin 17.  Can you please check to see if there are any in stock in your Elizabeth, NJ store?"
IKEA Girl: "What?"
Me:  Explained again.
IKEA Girl: Does not look up at me, but writes down on a piece of paper "GULLIVER, aisle 24, bin 17."
Me: Strange.  This is the same exact location as the store I am in.  Maybe it is a national IKEA-stocking thing.  "Is this the location of Gulliver crib in the NJ store?"
IKEA Girl:  Looks at me as if I am the stupidest person on earth and sneers.  This is when I realize that her front tooth is capped in gold with the cut out of a star.  Classy. "Umm, noooo.  This is where it is in THIS store."
Me: "Okay.  I got that far, but it appears there are none left, can you please check the other store?"
IKEA Gold Star-Tooth Girl:  "Elizabeth, NJ has 1 left.  Long Island has 7."
Me:  Now we are getting somewhere.  "Can you tell me the address of the Long Island store?"
IKEA Gold Star-Tooth Girl: (Looking at the sky) "517.854.1606"
Me: "Is that the phone number? Do you have the address?
IKEA Gold Star-Tooth Girl: "You can call there and they can give you the address."
Me: "Okay, can you please repeat the phone number? I was expecting an address when you responded the first time."
IKEA Gold Star-Tooth Girl:  So annoyed, looks up at the sky again. "517.854.1606"
Me:  "Thank you so much.  You have been tremendously helpful." At this point I am sure this came out quite sarcastic and I was red with frustration.  I was ready to knock out her other tooth so she could get a gold cap moon to go with her gold cap star.  (Crazy pregnant lady, I know).

I was amazed that they could put someone with so little customer service ability in a customer service position.  It was then that the always calm, Nate suggested we check the "As Is" section - home of damaged, returns and slightly flawed IKEA rejects.  We rounded the last aisle and there in the "As Is" section we spied our white Gulliver.  It was slightly scratched, but still in really good shape. Nothing a good cleaning and sterilization couldn't handle.  Hmmm.  The tag taped to it said - Floor Model $69.99.  Wow 30% Off.  Plus it was already built!  We decided to take it. 

To find the mattress that fit, I had to go back to the Gold Star-Tooth girl.  Luckily, it didn't appear she remembered me, and with as little eye-contact as possible or any verbal exchange at all, she wrote down the mattress location - where I found it fully stocked. So long, Gold Star-Tooth girl.

We strapped our "As Is" Gulliver to the roof of the Soob and headed back through the Battery Tunnel, completely satisfied with our great bargain purchase.  "As Is" Gulliver is temporarily residing in our living room and will need to be disassembled to fit through the bedroom door (possibly next weekend's project).  For now the cats think it is pretty cool and have figured out how to get in it.  We will have to break them of that habit before the Bell Pepper is born.  That's it for now.