DAY 1

I survived Day 1 back at work. It was tough, but I got through it and today was a little easier. My day went something like this:  I woke up early to shower and get ready before Annabelle rose so I could maximize my hour and half of morning play with her. I was feeling all mentally strong until our nanny arrived. Then I got sad. Saying goodbye was super hard. Annabelle was sitting on her mat smiling up at me with those rosy cheeks and my heart just broke. I left quickly, because I knew if I dragged it out, I would really loose it. I was thankful that the morning air was chilly and felt good against my hot teary face.  I gained some composure as I walked to the train.

I had forgotten what it was like taking the morning commute during rush hour. Yuck! I found myself shoving myself and my not-so-stylish Medela Pump N' Style against complete strangers attempting to get on the F train before the doors shut. Man, that thing is heavy and awkward to lug around. I guess I will have to get used to it.  I was still a bit fragile upon arrival to my office and had a few tears when I saw my boss, but soon enough I was feeling a bit like the old Cathi. I had to spend an hour on the phone with IT getting my computer login figured out only to find 2,800 emails in my inbox! Many were junk mail, but still! Also, the girl whose job I am replacing sat in my office for over 5 years, so there is a ton of stuff to sort through and trash. I think she saved everything! There are boxes upon boxes of gift with purchase bags, competitive product and so much literature. I am fortunate that everyone seemed pretty understanding and mostly just stopped by to say hi and ask about A. By the end of the day I was in a groove, though I have a lot to catch up on and a lot to learn.  I will be shadowing the current Haircare Sr. Manager for the next two weeks, which will be nice to help me transition and get into the swing of things again.

I left a little early at about 4:45 and I arrived home to find Annabelle all smiles. It seems like she had a good day. She went to the park and story hour. I took my time putting her to bed tonight, giving her 6 stories, extra rocking, a few songs and some good old fashioned breast milk. She is going to be one spoiled girl due to her mom's guilt.  It is strange how I can get into a project and be working, yet my mind is wondering what our girl is up to.  Is she napping, laughing, eating?  I already miss my days at home with her and am counting down until the weekend.